Australia by the Numbers

Miles traveled: ~6,030

Kilometers traveled (after all, it’s the unit of measure here): ~9,800

Methods of transport used: 5

Times an Aussie actually said “G’day, mate”: 0

Times an Aussie called me “mate”: at least 10

Times I heard the unofficial anthem “Livin’ on a Prayer”: 16, or that’s as high as I counted before I started crying as a stress response to hearing it

Days spent in medical care: 15

Sweet treats purchased after visiting doctors: 6

Possessive wallabies admired: 1

Wild kangaroos spotted, ever so briefly: 1

Parrots permitted to perch on my head: 1

Wild koalas spotted: 3

Wild penguins spotted: 8

House pets befriended: 3

Total days spent in Australia: 69

Total money spent: $6,098

Average per day: $88

Total money spent, not including airfare: $4,573

Average daily cost, not including airfare: $66

Germans encountered: ~10,000

Brits encountered: ~8,000

Americans encountered: 3

Days spent feeling sorry for myself and my sick body: 6

Days spent enjoying myself and feeling very fortunate indeed: 63

Lifelong dreams achieved: 2

kangaroo sign

The Gorgeous Great Ocean Road

I almost didn’t get to go to the Great Ocean Road, but with a little Couchsurfing magic and the luck of some very fine weather, I saw one of the loveliest stretches of Australia, not to mention some wild koalas and parrots, days before I left the country.

Great Ocean Road lookout toward Gibson Steps

Great Ocean Road lookout toward Gibson Steps

I was having a marvelous time in Melbourne, so I left it a little late to organize a trip out to the GOR. I didn’t really want to do a bus tour, but I didn’t want to take on the expense of renting a car all by myself either (not to mention, the thought of driving on the other side of the road freaked me out). I tried some rideshare websites with no luck. I posted in the rideshare group on the Couchsurfing website. I was starting to think that I was going to have go on a bus tour and make a few scheduled stops for over $100, when I got a message on CS. A ride!

Gibson StepsDani and Fede, from Sicily, were packing in a lot of sightseeing on Fede’s trip to visit Dani down under, so they only had a day, rather than the two I’d hoped for, to do the trip. But they were willing to split the driving between themselves, and Dani’s roommate Ali was joining in, so the costs were super reasonable. Another reminder that sometimes if you leave things to the last minute, you miss out, but sometimes, you luck out.

Color upon color

Color upon color

Ali’s lived all over the world, since he can teach all the romance languages and is well sought-after. In that infuriating way that all my beloved teacher friends have, he found it hard to admit when he didn’t know something, and could turn almost anything into a teaching moment, which Fede and I teased him about. Fede, on holiday from doctoring in Italy, had a wonderful way of teasing everyone and soothing tempers at the same time. Dani embodied that free-spirited attitude that movies always try to imitate but never quite get right. It was a great group to join for a long day of sightseeing.

Near Torquay

Near Torquay

Ali and I braced ourselves in the back as Dani got used to driving on the left, bumping up against several curbs and almost a few parked cars along the way. After some exclamations, arm waving, and yelling (all of which made me smile with fond memories of living in Rome), we got settled in to the drive. It takes about an hour, an hour and a half, to get from Melbourne down to the coast, but once you’re there, the drive becomes consistently beautiful.

Split Point Lighthouse at Aireys Inlet

Split Point Lighthouse at Aireys Inlet

We went to the Split Point lighthouse at Aireys Inlet and had a good view of what looked like might become a stormy day. (Happily, it did not.) Afterward, we wended our way up a hill into the bush a bit to Erskine Falls. We perched ourselves on the benches at the lookout and ate our lunch amid the foliage and the dull roar of the falls.

erskine falls gor

Erskine Falls

Back on the coast proper, Ali played DJ, occasionally putting on a song in Italian that made both Dani and Fede groan. He’d grin and explain that this was a particularly well-known ballad or pop song, and Fede would say, “Really, no, we cannot hear this.” I imagine it’s like every time someone plays Foreigner around me.

So far, we’d been following the advice of various Italian and English guidebooks, but at this point I said we should make a stop recommended by another Couchsurfer. We pulled off at Kennett River, which consists of a general store and campground. My travel companions got coffees while I asked the barista for directions to the “road with the koalas.” She pointed to the road next to the campground and said, “what you’re looking for is a gray basketball in a tree.” With these succinct instructions, we set off across the road.

Koala yoga

Koala yoga

Almost immediately, we saw a koala! It did, indeed, look sort of like a gray basketball, curled up as it was up in its tree. It appeared to be sleeping, which koalas do almost all the time. We went to the other side of the tree to get a better look, when whoosh–a bunch of birds flew right at us. Look at them:

Good thing I never saw "The Birds," or this might have freaked me out

Good thing I never saw “The Birds,” or this might have freaked me out

Dozens of colorful birds, all eager to flap around us, squawk in the trees, and generally cause a wonderful distraction. The internet tells me that I saw cockatiels, cockatoos, crimson rosellas, and Australian king parrots. One bird landed on Fede’s back, and then they all got the idea, and soon Dani and Ali were covered in birds as well. But none came to me! Maybe I had the wrong shampoo or something.

Cockatoo strut

Cockatoo strut

So I’m a little ashamed to say that when another group of tourists offered us their bread to feed the birds, I took some, and I was thrilled when a king parrot pecked at my outstretched palm, and finally made the leap over to my arm.

It deliberated about moving for a long time

It deliberated about moving for a long time

We saw two more koalas in the gum trees. One was ever-so-slowly shifting position, while the other remained resolutely asleep. As we reluctantly started to leave, we had another rush of birds, and this time, with no prompting, one landed on my head! I have never been so honored to have something attack my scalp as I was at that moment.

Hanging with royalty (that's an Australian king parrot)

Hanging with royalty (that’s an Australian king parrot)

It was hard to leave the playful birds and adorable koalas, but there was more to see, so we pressed on. We arrived at the Gibson Steps and descended those steep stairs to the beach to get a better look. We passed a kangaroo corpse, which is a strange thing to see when the animal isn’t roadkill, and I wondered how it got down to the beach, or if it had fallen off the cliff and that’s what killed it? I’m sure there’s a Kangaroo Kops number I could call to get to the bottom of this.

At Gibson Steps

At Gibson Steps

A long haul back up the steps and a short drive later, we arrived at the 12 Apostles. This is one of the most popular destinations in Australia, so perhaps it shouldn’t have surprised me to see a visitor’s center set up and hundreds of people milling about, but because we’d been four of only 30 people, tops, at all our stops so far, I was a little taken aback. Here, as at Stonehenge in England, you park on one side of the road, then follow an underpass path to get to the attraction.

Subtle signage

Subtle signage

The 12 Apostles were stuffily renamed in the ’50s; they were originally called the Sow and Piglets, which is much more evocative. They’re limestone rock stacks, which used to be part of the mainland, then eroded into arches, then eroded further into stacks. There are 8 left today. The light was terrible when we were there, but another thing about a rideshare is you can’t insist you stay an extra several hours to get less harsh sunlight for your photos.

12 Apostles

12 Apostles

In fact, once we’d admired the rocks and the ocean, Dani said we should head back so no one had to drive in the dark, which is a sensible suggestion. So we cut through inland roads that Theresa had told me about, and sped back to Melbourne, exclaiming over the wildlife and the coastline, and happy to be road tripping together.

Ali, Dani, Fede, me

Ali, Dani, Fede, me

The Golden Hour

I’m no photographer, but I do like taking photos, especially at the golden hour–that hour around sunrise and then again at sunset. The light at these times of day makes everything look good, and photos of people are especially lovely, as faces glow warmly. One of my favorite photos from the trip so far is one I didn’t take, at the sunset golden hour, but the memory is suffused with warmth all the same.

Khao Lak sunset

Khao Lak sunset

I really didn’t do anything in Khao Lak. It’s a popular place to go diving, but as we know that scares me. It’s a popular place to launch snorkeling trips out by the Similan Islands, but I wasn’t feeling up for a lot of action. Happily for me, it’s also a popular place to sit on your butt and do nothing all day, and mayyyybe drag yourself to a beach bar at night. That’s what I was looking for.

Home sweet home for five nights

Home sweet home for five nights

I stayed at Khao Lak Green Beach Resort, which has about 30 bungalows, a restaurant, and a massage hut, all on the beach. My bungalow had a fan, A/C, a mosquito net I never used, a bathroom, a porch, and a fridge. No TV, but yes wifi. It was sheltered by some palms and larger trees I didn’t recognize, and a bush out front bloomed yellow flowers every day.

The massage hut

The massage hut

Each day I’d go down to the beach and sit on the beach chairs, which were in the shade. This resort is popular with Swedish retirees and German families with young children, so I was surrounded by nearly naked children and stout Swedes in bikinis. All the children were discovering the joys of digging in sand with various implements, and all the adults were reading books and drinking Chang beers. It was very restful.

My perch

My perch

I floated in the ocean, ate at a few restaurants along the beach, got a foot scrub and Thai massage, and drank my body weight in water to counteract the jetlag and tropical heat that was giving me a fairly constant headache. And that’s about it, for four glorious days.

Pancakes seem to be a popular dessert here. I had mine with honey, mango, and banana.

Pancakes seem to be a popular dessert here. I had mine with honey, mango, and banana.

On my last day in town, I went down to the water just about an hour before sunset. The tide was out, so the rocks that line the coast were sticking up out of the water and discouraging me from swimming. I perched on a rock and gazed out to sea, and in my peripheral vision, admired a small Thai girl frolicking in the water. I smiled at her and she smiled shyly back, then jumped away and continued splashing about.

I went back to the beach and found a large, perfectly formed conch shell. I held it up to my ear for that rushing sound, and when I looked down, I saw the girl standing a little closer to me, smiling. I held the shell out to her but she shook her head and laughed, and splashed away again. I started strolling along the water line, looking at the many colored rocks and shells and occasionally picking up ones that struck me as particularly lovely. Soon, I glimpsed the girl again, and this time she was following me and picking up her own shells.

IMG_6723I saw her parents–a Thai woman and a German man–walking small dogs, and they kept an eye on me but didn’t seem worried. So the girl and I wandered back and forth along the beach for about thirty minutes, picking up and showing off shells and bits of coral, and sometimes solemnly giving each other the treasures we found. I saw a green shell, which I don’t think I ever have before, so I determined to collect a rainbow. Once I had it, I arranged it on the table next to my things up by the beach chair, and the girl helped with placement, and then we took a photo of the display.

A rainbow, a conch, a heart-shaped piece of glass, and some of Seden's favorites besides

A rainbow, a conch, a heart-shaped piece of glass, and some of Seden’s favorites besides

Now we were definitely friends. She beckoned for me to follow her, and we went into the water and paddled around for a little while. We exchanged names, and hers sounded like “Seden,” which is a German name, but I could be wrong about that. She pronounced my name not merely as two syllables, but as two tones, high to low: “Lee-sah.” She’d say “Lee-sah” and point farther out in the ocean, and off we’d swim. Then she’d say it again and point up to the rocks, and off she’d scramble. Several times, she and her mom back on shore had a conversation, and I was pretty sure she was supposed to go back in, but when I said “go back?” she’d shake her head and smile mischievously, and we’d swim some more.

Of course I cut my foot on those rocks

Of course I cut my foot on those rocks

I learned that she was six, and that she knew how to catch the tiny crabs that scuttle along the sand. She knew I talked a lot and said “wow” every time I saw a shell I liked. That’s pretty much all we knew about each other, and all we needed to know. I love playing with kids, and Seden was great fun. She was enthusiastic about showing off her swimming and fish-finding skills, but she was also just as happy climbing on the rocks I wouldn’t, and generally being independent and unself-conscious.

Just as the sun was sinking fast, her parents came along and we went to shore. I was going to ask her parents if I could take a photo with Seden (I think that’s the ethical way to photograph children, if you’re not taking a group shot or a photo that doesn’t show their face). But I asked her first if she wanted to, and she shook her head no. I asked again, and she was firm. All right, then! A good reminder to respect a person’s individual desires, no matter what their age.

So I don’t have a photo of Seden and me, grinning into the golden light and showing off our rainbow collection. But I do have the memory of sharing an hour of exploration and fun, and of her skipping ahead of her parents as they disappeared around a curve in the beach. Like I said, it’s a memory as lovely as the phantom photo it illuminates.

IMG_6747

Melbourne: A Home Away from Home

My first two days in Melbourne: a fully stocked costume rental shop, where my friend and the sales guy refined her Gothic Lolita dress and another customer asked for tips on making his outfit more “Jesus-y”; a burger joint that names all its sandwiches after members of the fictional Huxtable family; a store with handwritten notecards describing each whimsical item for sale; a Scottish ceilidh in a community hall, all attendees clad in plaid. A place so fun and just a little too pleased with itself, I felt almost at home.

Brunch spot

Brunch spot

Theresa and I know each other through mutual friends in Chicago, but she’d moved to New Zealand shortly after I moved to the city proper, so we never really got to hang out in the States. She moved to Melbourne a couple years ago, and is huge on the Couchsurfing scene there. She offered me an air mattress spot in her cozy home for the duration of my stay in town, which turned out to be a full week (generous!). We had a lot of fun hanging out.

It's gratifying to see so many bookstores still about.

It’s gratifying to see so many bookstores still about.

Theresa lives in the Fitzroy neighborhood of Melbourne, which felt so similar to Logan Square in Chicago that I had the strange sensation of comfortably navigating my way around the hipster hangouts of this city. I found bike shops, bespoke clothing shops, and expensive bars with good liquor. Of course, it is its own place, so I also saw things I’m not used to, like houses with ornate lacework gates, and women’s names painted on the facades; giant Russian nesting dolls decorating the lawn of the public housing block; and a storefront proclaiming the community service goals of a law firm.

I found the names on the house facades a little creepy. They reminded me of headstones.

I found the names on the house facades a little creepy. They reminded me of headstones. (Names here are Stella and Loretta, in case you can’t see.)

Melbourne itself is a pretty city, with pockets of green everywhere, a river wending its way through town, and elegant Victorian buildings lining the streets. It does have the disadvantage of being set up on hills in the downtown area, but I realized later that was just good practice for the mountains that make up all the walking areas of New Zealand.

Old school tram

Old school tram

The main part of Melbourne is set up on a grid, and the residents are proud of the tram system that trots throughout the city. There are all these signs reminding you not to steal a ride on the tram, but after the third or fourth time my tram card deducted more than it should have for a ride, I did as many residents do and just stopped paying. (While I was in town, the transit department came out with a fun, morbid little video that made the rounds on Facebook. Now that song is in your head. You’re welcome.)

St. Patrick's Cathedral by night (no photoshop; all the lights were yellow)

St. Patrick’s Cathedral by night (no photoshop; all the lights were yellow)

I took the free tourist bus around town, to get a glimpse of the main attractions. I did get glimpses, but glimpses only, because most of the time the bus was too crowded to get a proper look, and we never stopped anywhere longer than it took to pick up more passengers, so overall I don’t recommend the tourist bus. It’s a concentrated downtown area and wouldn’t take too long to just walk around.

Temple of the Winds, Royal Botanic Gardens

Temple of the Winds, Royal Botanic Gardens

I visited the Royal Botanic Gardens, which, like their counterpart in Sydney, were sprawling and well-tended. Paths squiggled all over, and soon I found myself in the middle of who knows where, resting by some roses wilting in the heat, then following some birds down to a lake and watching kids play. There were several signs indicating the various water-saving measures the caretakers have instituted–reducing use by 60% between 1995 and 2005, which is mighty impressive. I saw black swans and their nearly grown cygnets, packs of schoolchildren on field trips, and a grove of ferns actually labeled “Fern Gully.”

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I saw the end of a concert at Federation Square, the recently revamped public square near the river. I glimpsed Rod Laver Arena, where the Australian Open tennis final is played. I ate a delicious dinner of trini curry chicken, roti bread, and garlic pumpkin from a Trinidad & Tobago stand at the Queen Victoria Market. I helped Theresa make purple sweet potatoes for a Thanksgiving feast high up in a Docklands building.

Old and new: St. Paul's and Federation Square

Old and new: St. Paul’s and Federation Square

Did I mention the ceilidh? Because learning Scottish folk dances with septuagenarians was a seriously fun way to spend a Saturday night. One lady even distributed homemade “Happiness Kits” to all the women in our group. I kept it til I met someone who needed a pick-me-up, and then passed it on.

Happiness Kit--cheesy but sweet

Happiness Kit–cheesy but sweet

Oh yeah, and I saw penguins.

St. Kilda is a neighborhood on the harbor, and it rivals Fitzroy for funky goings-on and arty denizens. Its long esplanade is full of people jogging and roller blading (roller blading! in 2012!). I walked past fishermen on my way down the long pier, and at the end I read the sign about the blue penguins that nest here.

Hello baby penguin!

Hello baby penguin!

Blue penguins, or little penguins, are the smallest species of penguin, so the cute factor is upped considerably. A colony of them call the rocky breakwater at the end of the pier home, and for over 20 years they’ve been studied by scientists in this, their natural and wild habitat. It seems strange to call them wild, when they’re paddling past yachts at anchor to return to their nest every night, but they are wild. They aren’t bred or fed by humans; they just chose this spot because the harbor doesn’t have sharks or other predators, so it’s safer than some other places they could live.

melbourne harborVolunteers in safety vests roam the rocks, enforcing the rule that says no flash photography or regular flashlights are allowed, and shining red flashlights behind rocks so visitors can see the penguins (the red light doesn’t bother them like the white does). Unlike Philip Island, which has set up a paid park system to manage the many visitors, the structure here is loose, and that works in large part because the lights of the city confuse the penguins so they aren’t sure exactly when it’s dark, like they are in places more removed from humans, so they trickle in at various times, rather than all in one group. (The lack of predators also makes this possible, whereas the Philip Island penguins need to travel in a group for safety.)

IMG_2901

Before sunset, I was peeking at a baby penguin, or trying to anyway–it had hidden itself pretty well–when a young girl came right up to me and said, “Do you want to see one better?” and pulled my arm before I could answer. She was right; I could see this one more easily. Thanks, little girl. The crowds got a little pushy, but mostly stayed polite and listened to the volunteers when told to give the penguins more room. At one point, a penguin stood at the top of the rocks and groomed itself for a good five minutes, then sauntered across the path to the other side of the rocks, and it was just like paparazzi photographing a movie star.

Paparazzi (penguin, lower right)

Paparazzi (penguin, lower right)

When I had shingles in Byron and it looked like I might not make it to Melbourne, Theresa tried to make me feel better by saying that it’s more a city to live in than to visit, and I see what she means. There aren’t too many ‘must-see’ sights, and it’s more a matter of hanging out and soaking up the atmosphere. But that’s often the best part, especially in a place that feels like somewhere I could have lived in another life.

Eat up

Eat up

I went to a riotous party with Theresa, her boyfriend Sebastian, and friend Jez, and the next day we cooked up some ‘roo on the barbie and had a proper Sunday roast, Australian-style. We went to a pub quiz in St. Kilda and lost all the Australian-focused questions but won a couple random drawings that got us a round of beer for 20 cents each. What with the great weather and the excellent hospitality I experienced, Melbourne is easily the best city stop on my trip so far.

Bathtubbin' at a party with Theresa

Bathtubbin’ at a party with Theresa, hostess extraordinaire

Sleepless in Singapore

Coming to you live from Khao Sak, Thailand, I am pleased to report that going on three flights in as many days doesn’t necessarily kill the urge to travel. It may dampen it, and necessitate five days of recovery on a sleepy beach, but even three security lines in 72 hours won’t make you swear off flying. It helps, of course, if the second flight in this series lands you in Singapore’s Changi Airport. Because that place is the Platonic ideal of airports, the one which all other airports, dancing in shadow, aspire to become.

Nice day for a trip to the garden--in the airport

Nice day for a trip to the garden–in the airport

Hasty planning had me in Wellington when I needed to be in Auckland for a flight to Singapore, when I wanted to land in Phuket. I couldn’t change the Auckland-Singapore ticket, so I forked out a few hundred dollars to get me connecting flights on either end. The problem lay in the timing; I had to fly to Auckland on Saturday but not leave until Sunday, and I miiiiight make a flight to Phuket on Sunday, but chances were I wouldn’t so I was flying there on Monday. Messy!

I did not stick around to see what Wii game this guy chose, but from his warm-up exercises, I think boxing?

I did not stick around to see what Wii game this guy chose, but from his warm-up exercises, I think boxing?

I landed in Singapore on Sunday evening and picked up an airport guide on my way to customs. This 26-page booklet explains how to get to the city and other such details, but it also includes maps of the terminals and descriptions of the unique attractions contained therein. I saw a free movie theater, more than one garden, and a “snooze lounge.” I was psyched to spend the short night here rather than at a hostel, which several people had assured me was very possible.

The channels on the TVs were pre-selected, so there was sports on one, a reality show on another, Law & Order over here, and some cooking show there.

The channels on the TVs were pre-selected, so there was sports on one, a reality show on another, Law & Order over here, and some cooking show there.

Singapore is so polite in its threats.

Singapore is so polite in its threats.

They had neglected to mention logistics, and more importantly, I had failed to research them myself. So I went through passport control, got my bag, turned around to go through customs, and thought, “oh damn.” I’d passed through the magic gate of passport control, and now I was in the part of the airport with the check-in desks and car rental kiosks, and all the fun stuff was on the other side. I went back to my passport control officer and pleaded stupidity, and she led me to her supervisor, who wasn’t mean but he wasn’t pleased either. He explained to me that going through passport control was a one-way deal and that I shouldn’t be allowed back in, and I said yes, I had misunderstood, I hadn’t known what to do with my bag, and he said there was a whole baggage hold system set up to deal with just this sort of thing. Then he voided the passport stamp I’d got just 10 minutes before (a voided stamp! cool!), told me to fill out another arrivals card in the morning, and let me back in the land of wonders. Thank you, sir!

Each locker had plugs for various brands--Samsung, Nokia, Apple--so you plug your phone in there, take the key, and come back later to retrieve it. No need to find a plug, mess with your own cord, and babysit it. Genius!

Each locker had plugs for various brands–Samsung, Nokia, Apple–so you plug your phone in there, take the key, and come back later to retrieve it. No need to find a plug, mess with your own cord, and babysit it. Genius!

Signs dot the halls, reminding you that this is the “most awarded airport in the world,” although at first it seems mostly like any other airport. People roam about with their bags on shortened trolleys. Information booths are staffed by smiling women in skirt suits. Elegant salespeople hawk duty-free wares and overpriced sandwiches. Cleaners must do their work at some point, because everything is very clean, but I only ever saw a few bathroom cleaners, and I was in the airport for 14 hours.

They all got a "good" or "excellent."

They all got a “good” or “excellent.”

But then the special features filter through. Here, a garden of various orchids, surrounding a koi pond. Over that way, a kids’ play area and a giant Angry Birds sculpture. This way, an entertainment center, including rooms with Wii and Playstation games, a theater playing Hollywood hits continuously, and a wifi hotspot. Next to the moving sidewalk, a free foot massage machine. In each terminal, a transit hotel with rooms to rent by the night or by the hour (no, not for that, for naps on shorter layovers). In one of the hotels, a rooftop swimming pool.

It was dark and all the butterflies were asleep, so no pictures of them.

It was dark and all the butterflies were asleep, so no pictures of them.

If John McClane had visited one of these after his flight, he would not have needed to take his shoes off at Nakatomi Plaza, which would have made things just a little easier for him.

If John McClane had used one of these foot massagers after his flight, he would not have needed to take his shoes off at Nakatomi Plaza, which would have made things just a little easier for him.

They’ve made the airport a place that you don’t mind being stuck in, which upends the idea of airports entirely, at least for this Midwesterner raised on Detroit Metro and (ugh) Chicago O’Hare. Some airports have art galleries and casinos, so it’s not like Singapore is the only one on this path, but it’s the most successful one I’ve seen of addressing the complaints someone with a long layover might have–tired, hungry, bored–with mostly free amenities.

The Snooze Lounge

The Snooze Lounge

The only design flaw I noticed was that the Terminal 3 snooze lounge was on a mezzanine level over a small koi pond that attracted all the shrieking children in the area. So I never actually slept more than 30 minutes at a time, but I was more comfortable than I would’ve been for those 30-minute naps at just about any other airport. It’s still a bit loud, a bit bright, a bit crowded, but that’s the nature of the beast.

If I had to be stuck in transit, at least it was here.

airport orchid