It’s SO Hot Out…

How hot is it?

It’s so hot that the pigeons have given up. Rather than strut around their little poop-splattered kingdoms under the El tracks, or dive-bomb pedestrians in their petty turf wars, they’re lying down and calling it quits. I saw two pigeons today do this:

This is what defeat looks like.

Not even quite that. There was shade to be had, but it looked like they just couldn’t even make it that far, so they were sitting in direct sunlight, at noon, waiting for death. They each had the right wing out a little, as if it were sheltering something, but I saw nothing under the wing, just a patch of shade that did them no good. Poor little pigeons.

That’s right, it’s so hot out that even pigeons are inspiring sympathy.

Photo from here.

How I Nearly Blew Off a Cliff in Ireland But Lived to Tell the Tale

Today was a wet and blustery day in Chicago, and as I did a duck-and-weave through the raindrops on my way home from work, I found that I wasn’t irritated at the rain. In fact, I was feeling pretty good, thanks in no small part to the outpouring of goodwill I’ve received since I yelled to the world that the International Business Times had reprinted my post from Tuesday. But if I tried to tell you the last time I felt this giddy in a rainstorm, it’d probably be January 2004, when I was almost blown off a cliff and swept out to sea in Ireland.

a sheer, exhilarating drop from the Aran Islands into the Atlantic below

Image from http://www.travelpod.com/photos/0/Ireland/Aran%20Islands.html

I’d finished my study abroad program in Rome and was visiting friends living in other European countries easily accessible by Ryanair. It so happened that one of my good friends from high school, Miranda, was abroad at the same time, so we decided to meet up in Dublin, take a bus across the country to Galway, and return after visiting the Aran Islands. This is, in fact, what we did, only slightly derailed by the part where the winds tried to destroy us.

The Aran Islands, on the west coast of Ireland, had been described to me as the most Irish part of Ireland. I’m not sure exactly what that was supposed to mean, but I gathered it meant strikingly beautiful landscapes, quaint towns, and locals speaking the mother tongue. This is pretty much the case, although everyone speaks English as well as Irish, especially since tourism is the main industry there now.

The main tourist attractions of the islands are the ruins of stone forts such as Dún Aengus (or Aonghasa), which were probably built in the 2nd century BCE. It’s unclear whether they were entirely defensive forts, or if they also held religious or commercial value, positioned as they are with a view of a large part of the coast and therefore a good look at trading vessels coming and going. In later centuries, many structures on the islands were made over to monasteries, and farming on the shallow, rocky soil remained the main occupation until very recently, when tourism became big industry.

Miranda and I took the ferry over to Inishmore from Galway and picked up a map at a small shop we got a bit of food at. Keep in mind that this was late January, not exactly the height of tourist season, so there were very few other people around, and we considered ourselves lucky for having the island mostly to ourselves. Armed with the basic trail map and our cameras, we headed off to find one of the ruined forts, Dún Dúchatair (the Black Fort), and soon we really did have the place to ourselves, aside from a few grazing cows. We were walking on a basic kind of trail, which often seemed to devolve into just a field for a space, and the wind was picking up something fierce, but we had our destination in our sights, so we pressed on.

The Black Fort -- see how much rock was all around, too? (obvs this is a postcard; I was not blown so high off the cliff that I was able to take an aerial shot)

The rocks were everywhere, stacked to form low walls marking off small plots of land, and when they weren’t stacked in an orderly pile, they were underfoot, tripping us up. We had to tread carefully, but the sky was expansive and the island a lovely mixture of green-brown grass and slate-gray rock, and we were inordinately proud of ourselves for taking ourselves on tour rather than signing up for a guided one. We reached the fort, perched on the edge of a cliff, and it was worth the trip. The Black Fort itself was an orderly collection of rocks, small walls shaped into overlapping horseshoes, which were themselves shaped like halves of concentric circles rippling out from a stone being dropped in water. It wasn’t hard to imagine that stone being a chunk of island, either, since the center was almost at the edge of the cliff, and that cliff dropped off sharply and steeply.

We’d been scrambling over the fort for a bit, but now we needed to see the ocean, and not from far away, either. No, we needed to get real close and personal. We walked right up to the edge (there are no railings here, you litigious Americans) and leaned over, not far enough to fall in, but just far enough to feel adventurous. But whoops, the wind was still quite strong, and I found myself pulled closer to that edge than I liked. I was an arrogant 20-year-old, convinced of my travel savvy and basic immortality, but I was also a little scared of heights and a lot clumsy; the possibility of me plunging over the edge into the (beautiful, deeply blue, whitecapped) sea was now far too real. I lurched backward and stumbled over to a more stable location, like one of the handily ubiquitous gray rocks, to catch my breath.

At this point, it became clear that the fierce wind was not just a consequence of being so close to the ocean; rain was starting to fall from the sky, and it was coming down fast. Miranda and I turned around and headed back, but we found ourselves a bit lost. Our map suddenly wasn’t so helpful in the torrential downpour, and anyway the wind was doing its best to tear it from our hands. We leaned into each other, and into Miranda’s umbrella, and did what we could to follow the right set of squiggly rock walls down to the village.

Now at this point in most travel stories, I’d share with you that things were tense. After all, despite the Gulf Stream current that keeps the western Irish coast unusually warm, this was still January, and we were dressed in our winter coats and gloves, and this was a small gale bearing down on us. We weren’t sure where we were, the only living creatures we could see were cows sensibly huddling together, and I’ll wager we were both hungry and in need of a bathroom. But all I remember is enjoying every minute of it. Miranda and I both saw the absurdity of our situation and decided that rather than grumble or despair, we’d laugh. Far the better option. Talking in the storm was difficult, so we’d just walk a little, turn to each other and raise our shoulders exaggeratedly, shake our heads like “what’re you gonna do?” and laugh, then repeat.

Utterly given over to the storm and enjoying ourselves enormously

Eventually we did make it down out of the fields and rocks, and we found ourselves on the edge of the road. It didn’t take too long for a car to slow down, and a middle-aged man rolled down the window and offered us a ride into the village. We hesitated for a moment (young women, strangers, foreign country), but we quickly realized that he was just being nice, and was probably genuinely worried for us, since we looked like two barely resuscitated near-drowning victims. We got cheap, hot drinks at the same store we’d left so confidently a few hours before, shivered ourselves slightly warmer, and congratulated ourselves on being badasses. I don’t remember anything about the ferry back to Galway or the bus back to Dublin, but I clearly remember the wind whipping my hair into my face, the rain turning the gray rock a slick black, Miranda shouting with laughter, and a sense of wild freedom.

Once I was safely twenty paces back from the cliff, of course.

Sweet Home Chicago

On my way home from work today, I passed a middle-aged woman who perfectly embodied that Chicago stubbornness and optimism I love so well: She was dressed appropriately for the overcast, 45-degree day in pants, a jacket with the hood up, even gloves. And she was crossing the street licking an ice cream cone. Rock on, spring, rock on.

Spring in Chicago: tulips and parkas

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/ferdsfotos/2468995357/.

I’m working on a longer piece, so I’m afraid that’s all for today, but be sure to come back on Thursday for a Mother’s Day post I’m pretty excited about.

Destination: Brooklyn

New York City. It’s one of the capitals of the world, a city teeming with sights to see, performances to take in, restaurants to savor. Of course, when we think of all the wonders of New York, we think of Manhattan. While there are certainly many years’ worth of things to see and do there, other boroughs have their own, less frenetic, charm. Since my sister lives in Brooklyn, I’ve spent a good portion of my two New York trips there, and I’m here to tell you it’s easy to make a whole visit out of Brooklyn alone. Here are some ideas:

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Prospect Park

Saturday was the first nice day in a long time, and we went for a walk in Prospect Park, which stretches along over twenty city blocks, topped by a giant statue in Grand Army Plaza. The whole park was full of kids and their families playing catch, flying kites, and riding scooters all over, and we strolled along past cyclists and joggers on our way to the farmer’s market. A perfect afternoon!

Cocoa Bar

I whiled away an hour or two at this Park Slope café, drinking a tasty hot chocolate and eating a divine piece of cake called Death by Chocolate. It involved cake, pudding, AND mousse, and no, I did not perish (but I didn’t finish it either). They have a garden backed by a colorful mural, which makes it even more appealing in warmer times.

Park Slope Food Coop

(No, I’m not sure why they don’t hyphenate.) One of the most established co-ops in the country, this place is highly organized. You can’t shop there unless you’re a member, you can only visit if you sign in and wear a visitor’s badge, and if you’re a member, you have to work at least one shift a month or find yourself no longer allowed to shop there because you aren’t contributing your part. The rules make sense for a small place that has over 14,000 members, but it is a bit daunting. Pro tip: don’t go at 5pm on a Sunday. It’s a little scarring. But! The food is cheap, and so much of it is local and organic, and it sure does beat giving your money to a giant conglomerate. Plus, just this week they were raffling off a classic Schwinn, so, y’know, hipster cred is always maintained. So find a friend who’s a member and head on in.

Brooklyn Bridge and Original Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory

Back when I visited during the summer, Emily took me to Brooklyn Heights, where we had delicious ice cream at the Original Brooklyn Ice Cream Factory while strolling along the pier right under this giant bridge that I hear is being sold for a really good price. (Aw, poor NYC, maybe we shouldn’t make Brooklyn Bridge jokes when their mayor is renaming other bridges nearby.)

Coney Island

Just take the F train all the way to the end of the line and ta da! You’re at the beach, complete with an old-timey carnival and boardwalk. When my flight was delayed on my summer visit, I spent a couple hours sunning in the sand, eating a hot dog, and peeking at the Ferris wheel at Coney Island. This place was a resort destination as early as the 1830s, back when it was still an island and landfills hadn’t connected it to the mainland. Nowadays it’s a bit run-down, but you can still buy an ice cream, a useless souvenir, and an amusement park ride ticket for under $20, so what else could you ask for?

Outpost

Outpost seems to be one of those places that can be a little bit of everything for everybody–café, bar, restaurant, gallery, performance spot. When I visited during Gay Pride Weekend in ’09, a queer party group called Banned threw a delightful fête here with cupcakes, dance music, and burlesque performers who stood on tabletops and set their tassels on fire. It was pretty exciting. Also, there is a charming garden in the back with cozy seating to share a beer or three with your friends.

Park Slope shops

This neighborhood has a well-deserved reputation for being full of yuppie parents steamrolling over the sidewalks with their giant strollers, but as long as you stay nimble and avoid getting run over, there are a lot of neat shops to see. Emily and I walked along 7th Ave and poked our heads in many independent stores, places built up by locals and supported by the same. I think after a few hours I’d find it all a bit precious, but until then, the many stationery, framing, book, jewelry, and boutique pet stores are a fun way to while away an afternoon.

Re/Dress

Emily found out about Re/Dress through a friend and knew it would becomeo an immediate favorite of mine. It’s a used and vintage store for women sizes 14 and up, and unlike most thrift stores, it’s huge. (Puns!) The staff is friendly and affirmative, the décor is zany and bright, and the clothes are affordable and good quality. Emily found me the perfect LBD there, and I stocked up on summer dresses in ’09 that get me compliments every time I wear them. Highly recommended if you’re in the size range and in the neighborhood (which I think is Brooklyn Heights?).

I know there’s much, much more to see, but next time I visit Brooklyn I’m sure I’ll have even more suggestions to bring back for y’all. In the meantime, enjoy!

Smokin’!

What is the most dangerous part of living in the city? Random attacks on the street? Gang violence? Daley’s privatization schemes? No, as terrifying as those all are, I am here to tell you that the closest I’ve come to death in my three years of living in Chicago was last Wednesday, when I nearly killed myself with the self-clean option on my oven.

I’d had a dinner party the previous Friday, and I guess some of that tasty meal must’ve spilled over into the oven during cooking, because when I was baking a pumpkin pie on Sunday, smoke rushed out of the oven vent and the smoke alarm went off. I opened some windows and set up a fan, and the alarm went quiet. The pie cooked for another hour, and the oven continued to smoke slightly. (The pie was unharmed, you’ll be glad to know.) Obviously this problem needed more attention, so Thursday I scrubbed the oven til it seemed pretty clean, and then I decided to use the self-clean button to finish it up. HORRIBLE MISTAKE. Almost as bad as deciding to watch The Proposal.

It started out okay. I went back to the living room and started watching The Office on Hulu and going through my mail. About ten minutes later, just when I was thinking, “Gee, this show is terribly mediocre lately,” I heard the piercing cry of my smoke alarm. I ran to the hall and saw my ENTIRE kitchen and dining room full of smoke. Like, all I could see was dirty white smoke rushing at my eyeballs with malicious intent. After clambering on a chair to grab the smoke alarm and pull out the battery (yes, thank you, I am aware of my impending doom, now please be quiet), I ran around the house opening windows and turning on fans. It was only as I was gasping for breath at the window in my bathroom that I realized, “I am inhaling huge amounts of smoke and will likely die of suffocation or lung collapse,” and wrapped a bandana around my face. I looked like this:

my aunt gave me this bandana for hiking trips, but turns out it is also useful in those perilous "quiet night at home" situations

Smokey and the Bandit

I cowered in my bathroom, door shut and window open, freezing in the late December elements and figuring out a plan. I quickly ascertained the best plan of action was to not die, so I called up my friend Claire and begged to be sheltered from this fiery storm. Note that I did not turn off the self-clean function on the oven, oh no. It was scheduled to take 4 hours and 20 minutes and come hell or high water (or fire department), it would finish what it was scheduled to do. The smoke had cleared up so I could open my eyes without a burning sensation, and there wasn’t even any smoke coming from the oven anymore. Clearly it had burned through the mess I’d thought I’d mostly got rid of and had nothing left to destroy. I scurried down the stairs and out into the night, thinking that I sure would rather inhale the smoke promised by the scheduled clean time than the smoke currently circulating in my lungs.

After being fed and petted by the lovely Claire, I returned home a couple hours later to a stinky icebox. The oven was now clean, but my entire apartment stank of smoke and what smelled like burned plastic. It had got in my clothes, my furniture, my walls. Fearing I would need to fumigate the whole damn place, I left all the windows wide open for the night, but of course this is late November and it is decidedly Not Warm. I got ready for bed with the same grim determination seen in Arctic explorers: I will survive this night, I will survive this night. I piled on layers of socks and sweatshirts and my winter hat and added two blankets to the bed. With the sounds of city traffic blasting into my room on chilly currents of air, I shivered my way to sleep, mumbling to myself about the eternal hellfire awaiting self-cleaning ovens.

And that’s the story of how cleaning almost killed me. I will now return to my slovenly ways.