New Series: Be a Grown-Up

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“Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.”
— Margaret Atwood, Cat’s Eye

It’s a well-documented feeling, that we were expecting to be given a copy of The Grown-Up’s Handbook when we turned 24 or so, and that once this did not happen, we grew very discouraged. You mean to say that we have to figure out all sorts of bizarre adult rituals like buying car insurance and navigating office politics on our own? And once we realized that actually no one else had received the handbook either, and that they’re all figuring it out on their own too, we saw it first as “phew, I’m not the only one,” and then “wait a minute, who’s running this show?”

I’m 28 years old and confident in my ability to run my own life well. I pay my bills, go to my job, host visitors, etc. I like lists and I like my planner. I’m self-sufficient and have been since fall of 2005. But there are some things I have no idea how to do, things that I’m ashamed aren’t in my skill set, because they seem so basic to being a functioning adult or someone who can help out in a scrape (like, say, on a trip around the world).

So for this new blog series, I thought I’d combine learning with fun, just like they taught us on Magic School Bus. I have a Flip video camera and friends who know how to do stuff. I’m going to make videos of them teaching me useful things, and then post them here for your viewing pleasure. You can laugh at my missteps and perhaps pick up a new skill in the meantime. How’s that sound?

Let’s brainstorm what skills I’ll be learning. Here are some things I don’t know how to do that I’d like to (with some suggestions from Hannah and Andy, thanks). This should give you an idea of the scope of things I’m looking to learn:

Fix a hem
Change a car tire
Bake bread
Start a fire
Make coffee
Drive a stick shift
File an insurance claim
Play poker and euchre or other tricks-based card game
Knit a scarf
Tie a necktie
Administer basic first aid
Make an Excel sheet that actually takes advantage of the calculation function, rather than just notes how long it’s been since my last oil change

I won’t necessarily be learning all of these, but it’s a good start. Please use the comments below to suggest a skill and/or offer your services as a teacher. I clearly can’t do this without you. I think this should be one of those inspirational government posters: Together, we can help me Be a Grown-Up.

So go on, comment away. It’s patriotic.

New Centerstage Review Up

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I had trouble writing up the latest play I saw for Centerstage, because I felt so conflicted about what I’d seen. Under the Blue Sky by David Eldridge has received rave reviews everywhere it’s been performed, including here in Chicago. It’s well-written, with natural dialogue and smart commentary.

But the characters were straight out of the Cliché Grab Bag. We had the Emotionally Unstable Woman who frantically waved a knife at her lover rather than let him move away, the Slut Who Only Does It Cuz She Hates Herself, and the Shy Young Man Who’s Secretly a Pervert. Still, the actors played them well, and with a considerable amount of subtlety. And there were some twists that undermined the clichés somewhat. But why make them the premise in the first place?

(Also, the male actor in the final scene seemed to be constantly forgetting his lines, not entirely, just enough to throw off the rhythm entirely. Must’ve been frustrating for his female counterpart.)

Here’s an excerpt of my play review:

And what private moments these are. The first two vignettes show so-called friends at their worst, people treating each other so badly that they even come right out and comment on how ugly the situation is.

You can read the rest here.

The Postcard Project

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I’ve been a packrat for as long as I’ve had possessions. Mom made increasingly futile attempts over the years to get me to throw out illegible scribblings, broken toys, once-treasured stuffed animals long left in dust. It was a holiday in the Findley family when I moved just about the last of my boxes out of the basement and into my Chicago apartment. I’ve gotten a lot better over the years, but I still keep more than I should.

My penmanship will be just as fancy-looking but illegible.

So it was not too surprising when, cleaning up my desk at work a few weeks ago, I found a stack of paper three years old. It was the remains of one of those page-a-day calendars, the theme of this one being “1,001 Places to See Before You Die” (a morbid way of looking at it, and clunkier than “The Bucket List,” but it sure did have a lot of pretty pictures). I’d torn off the pages and kept them in a stack because they might come in handy someday. When? What day would a stack of frayed-edge color landscape photos from 2008 come in handy for anything?

I found a use for them. I decided, in the tradition of the marvelous Mlle. O’Leary, I needed to step up my non-electronic communication, so I’m making postcards out of the old calendar and sending them to friends all over the world. It’s not a hard thing to do, or a skilled one, but it’s fun to sit in front of the latest Parks & Rec pasting photos on cardstock and writing affectionate messages on the back. It’s a good time to pause and think about the person I’m writing and ogle the scenery on the postcard.

I’m sending at least one postcard a week from now until next September when I leave on my trip, so if you want one, just let me know. Don’t put your address in the comments, because don’t put your address on the Internet, good grief I hope you know that, but do drop a note if you’d like a postcard and you can email me your postal address. I can’t promise when or what stunning vista you’ll receive, but I will promise that sometime in the next year, you’ll get a handmade postcard in the mail from me. Here we go!

Image from here.

Aesthetically Speaking: Em Findley

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I’ve written about the singing and songwriting talents of Emily before, but here’s some more. Clearly I’m a big fan, and anyone who has heard Em sing has heard one of the strongest voices out there. It’s Em’s birthday week, so send well wishes in the comments, won’t you? Thanks for sharing, Em!

What is your name and city of residence?
Emily Findley, Brooklyn, NY


What medium do you work in?
Music


How often do you work on your art–is it a full-time endeavor or something you work on in your spare time?
Most definitely part-time/spare time. When the mood strikes me, MAYBE once a week?


How does art fit into your life, in general? Is it something you think about and talk about every day, or every week, or only in certain situations, etc.?
Music is what I know at my core, what I think I am best at, and what I would like to spend my time “doing.” Rather than going everywhere and doing everything, I am quite content to be sitting (or moving!) and listening to melodies and harmonies that inspire me.


When you start on a piece, what kind of end result do you have in mind? Does it get performed or published, put in a permanent form or is it more temporary?
All of the above! Sometimes it’s just one chord progression with a tune or sometimes it’s an entire song. Sometimes I sing it just for myself or sometimes I get up on stage.


What goals do you set in relation to your art, both short- and long-term? Is it something you hope to make money doing, or is it something you want to keep uncommercialized? Does the term “sell-out” hold meaning for you or do you see the art/commerce relationship as a necessary one?
If I could be the next American Idol without the glitter, I would be! Just kidding. If I could be a “known” singer/songwriter, that would be amazing. Or maybe, if I could just open for the bands that I love, THAT would be a dream. If I could actually make money from singing, well, wouldn’t that be fly!


What role does collaboration with others play in your art, if any?
I’ve spent a long time looking for “the one” person to sing with. When Lizzie and I sing together, I feel like I have found that person. I also love it when I get up in front of a room full of people and everyone sings along. I also welcome edits and collaboration on what I’ve written, which is what a lot of my family members (ahem, Lisa) have given me.


How conscious are you of your artistic influences? Who are your artistic influences?
I tend to write from someone else’s bravery. When I hear what someone else has done, I know that I can do it, too. Indigo Girls, Girlyman, Motown, girl groups, tight harmonies, my family members.


Since this is a travel blog, how does travel relate to or affect your art? (Themes in what you produce, road trips to perform your music, thoughts on what happens to your painting when you ship it across the country to a customer, etc.)
Music can go wherever you go. I hope that my music follows me. Or rather than following me, I hope that I make the conscious effort to bring it with me, to perform in new places or just to experience my music in different places because that brings me a new experience of what I have created.


And finally, a right-brain question: If your art was a map, what would it be a map of?
The heart.

Just kidding! Well, not really. But maybe bicycle and paths?

If you’d like, share your website/Facebook page and any upcoming gigs/plans you’d like readers to know about.
Music has, unfortunately, been a low priority for me for far too long. For me, it has felt like a lot of other life things have gotten in the way. But in my center I know that it’s always the biggest part of me so even though I’m not writing or performing, I know that, and that makes me feel ok.

New Centerstage Review Up

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Who’s in the mood for some seasonal spookiness? Check out the always-odd, often-heartbreaking Strange Tree Group in their latest, The Spirit Play. Tom B. and I saw the show a week ago, and I was delighted with how delighted he was by the production. It’s always fun to feel like you’re really treating someone with your comp ticket.

Here’s an excerpt of my review:

This Halloween special explores the world of Victorian-era séances and the various ways we convince ourselves that something we want desperately to be true is true… Raps on the table, bells ringing in mid-air, and of course, ghostly hands creeping out from behind a curtain; all these were standard practice among séance charlatans of the era, and the medium and her entourage use them here as well.

You can read the rest of it here. Happy haunting!

Your Awesome Halloween Costume 2011

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Halloween is nearly upon us! One of the few holidays not centered around family activities or large meals, it’s a time for sugar highs and slipping into a different persona. My mom always made great costumes for the twins and me. As we got older, we had individualized ones, but there are some adorable pictures of us when we were small, as Little Bo Peep and her two lost sheep, and The Cat in the Hat and Thing 1 and Thing 2. (So, so good.) You could say I had high standards of costumes to live up to as I grew up and traded in my trick-or-treating bag for a bottle of beer. I’ve decided on a costume for this year, but I still have lots of leftover ideas that should be put to good use. I know a lot of people find thinking of costumes a stressful activity, so let me ease your burden and suggest you take one of these and make it Your Awesome Halloween Costume 2011 (note that Sexy Fill-in-the-Blanks are not included, and gender bending is always encouraged):

The Costume: David Wooderson, aka Matthew McConaughey’s creeper character in Dazed and Confused

Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused

pre-shirtless bongo playing days

What to Wear: bell bottoms, especially if you can get salmon-colored ones; a concert t-shirt (the one in the movie is apparently a Ted Nugent album cover); a Southern gentleman’s blonde moustache; a can of beer

What to Do: Walk around with a can of beer in hand and a lazy, stoned smile on your face all night. Say things like, “That’s what I like about these high school girls; I get older, they stay the same age” and “You gotta joint? It’d be a lot cooler if you did.” Leer at redheads. Tell everyone to meet at the moon tower for the real party.

Major Caveat: This costume is only open to people who could never be mistaken for creepers in real life. It’s only funny if it’s a huge exaggeration. If you’re a dude, here’s a test: Mention to a female friend that you plan to be this for Halloween. If she hesitates or her eyes shift away, you may be a creeper in real life and should steer clear of this costume. Also, look at your choices, look at your life.

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The Costume: Freddie Mercury, in honor of the 20-year anniversary of his death

Freddie Mercury

rock god

What to Wear: tight white bootcut pants; a white men’s undershirt; a healthy black moustache; a false set of disturbingly straight and large teeth; Adidas shoes; and if you’re feeling flush with cash and luck in finding it, a bizarre yellow jacket with lots of buckles

What to Do: Strut around as if on stage all night, including athletic jumps and dives. Sing dramatic songs in full range, including an alarming falsetto. Search for a David Bowie to sing “Under Pressure” with you.

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The Costume: Leslie Knope, aka Amy Poehler’s amazing character on Parks and Recreation

Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope

next stop, the White House

What to Wear: a gray business suit with red dress shirt; impossibly blonde hair; low pumps; a giant planner filled to the brim with notes for meetings; a copy of A History of Pawnee, Indiana, which you wrote from memory

What to Do: Be super friendly and cheerful, and yet stumble your way into the most awkward situation possible within 2 minutes of meeting somebody. Cover it up by being more awkward and solemnly promising to hold a town meeting to find a solution. Warn people off the snake juice. Recite facts about great women in American politics and hand out “Knope 2012” buttons. Be entirely awesome.

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Other ideas:

Couple costume: One of you dresses in jeans and a ratty t-shirt, possibly with tambourine or other noisemaker in hand, and carries an “Occupy Wall Street” sign. The other dresses in waist-high khakis and a sweatshirt with a golf logo, possibly wearing a crucifix or a trucker hat, and carries a “Tea Party” sign. You introduce yourselves as the new political parties of America.

Wear a nondescript outfit and pin a large piece of paper to your shirt with the name “shnazzy83” or “jasonINfectionnn.” Run around screaming “firsties!” and “Shut the f up! You’re so stupid I can’t believe you graduated kindergarten!” and the like. You’re a commenter on the internet. (A few years late to be super trendy, sure, but unfortunately there are far too many commenters like this for it to be a fad–present company excluded, of course.)

Photo 1 from here. Photo 2 from here. Photo 3 from here.