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Or: I Did NOT Leave My Wallet in El Segundo

I’m paranoid about losing my keys or having my wallet stolen, especially since I’ve lived on my own and faced the prospect of being unable to get into my apartment if my keys go missing. So I’ve developed some overly paranoid steps to minimize the risk of these things happening. Most travel guides and websites will give you tips on how to keep your things secure when you’re in a foreign place (get a bag that zips, carry it across your chest instead of at your side, etc.), but the truth is that the same strategies work anywhere, whether at home or abroad.

Step One: Run “Ready, Set, Go”

Every single time I leave my house, I run a “ready, set, go” check. Look in my purse for keys, wallet, phone. With those three things, I’m good anywhere I end up. The one time I didn’t check, of course, my keys were still in my bedroom, and that was when I lived in a place with automatically locking doors. Not a pleasant realization, when I ran the ready, set, go after I’d already let the door close behind me with a sharp click.

Step Two: Develop a New Plane of Awareness

The CTA posts ads with tips on deterring pickpockets, including a recommendation that you not check for your wallet in your back pocket, or run a finger along your phone’s outline in your purse, or in some other way indicate to a thief the exact location of your valuables. But I don’t feel comfortable not being able to check up on things, so I’ve developed a a system of constant movement that allows me to check on things without being too obvious about it; I shift my purse from one arm to the other, and do a quick tactile check on its contents, or open it up to take out my chapstick or iPod, and do a quick visual check that way.

Step Three: Be Lucky

Okay, this is a bit of a cheat, since the very definition of luck includes being unable to control it, but I think it’s important to recognize the crucial role luck plays in keeping our belongings secure and our persons safe. There are a lot of steps we can take to protect ourselves, but sometimes thieves succeed or accidents happen, and all the precautions in the world can’t help in those instances. I mention this because I think it’s easy to blame people for not being careful enough with their things, and that’s not helpful. Especially when you’re traveling someplace new, it’s easy to get disoriented and lose track of your usual habits that keep your things with you, and if you get separated from those things, you won’t want it to ruin your trip. Do what you can to keep your belongings secure, but if misfortune strikes, remember that they are all replaceable, unlike the more pleasant memories you’re forming while traveling, so do your best to focus on those instead.

Any other suggestions?

So you’ve read on this blog or heard from friends about the marvels of couch surfing, and you’ve gone to www.couchsurfing.org and made yourself a profile. It’s a few months yet til you have the vacation time to travel anywhere yourself, so in the meantime you’re going to take the big step of opening up your home to others as a host. Congrats! Now maybe you’re a little anxious, wondering how you’re going to fit hosting into your schedule, or what you’re going to do with your surfers once they arrive. Never fear, dearest fellow travelers, for I have assembled here a list of unbeatable tips in being a great host.

Top 5 Ways to Be a Great CouchSurfing Host

This guy knows what he's talking about

1) Start out with a cheerful attitude and keep it up for their whole stay. I hosted on a Monday night recently, and as my work day was drawing to a close, I berated myself for agreeing to invite two strangers into my home on a weeknight, and the first night of a long week, at that. But there’s nothing more unwelcoming than talking about how tired you are, or how much work you have to do, so I found some energy and greeted my surfers with a big smile. They matched me smile for smile, and we were off to a good start, already feeling friendly toward one another. (Of course, if you know that a particular day might not work for you, don’t agree to host on that day, and confine yourself to hosting on weekends only.)

No need to make a sign, but point the bathroom out right away

2) Take care of their needs right away. It’s easy to forget that your surfers have just traveled, often quite far, to get to your home, and they’re totally disoriented. To you, this is home, and everything is self-evident, but to them, everything is foreign. As soon as you’ve greeted your surfers with a smile, show them the couch and invite them to put down their (heavy!) bags. Then give them a tour of your place so they know the general set-up, including where the bathroom is, where towels are, whether they need to make their own bed or if it’s already made up, etc. Offer them a glass of water and ask if they have any particular requests that you should know about right away.

Setting boundaries doesn't have to be quite this frightening

3) Set all boundaries up front and center. This flows from the previous point; it’s important to have all parties aware of all boundaries right away, so there’s no room for misunderstanding. Sure, you might misinterpret their French and think they requested strawberries when they really wanted raspberries, but that’s no big deal; it is a big deal if they think 2 am is a good bedtime but you hoped to hit the sack by 10. Maybe you have no boundaries and anything goes, but usually that’s not the case. Don’t feel shy about bringing them up; just think if it were you on the other end, and how you’d rather know what was unacceptable behavior before, rather than after, you did it. Everyone is more comfortable knowing what’s what, so while you’re having that glass of water or first beer of the night, lay it all out — how long you can spend with them or if you have other obligations, when you have to go to bed and when the house as a whole hits quiet time, which rooms are off-limits (like your roommate’s), whether the cat is an indoor or outdoor one, if you have a spare house key for them to use or if they need to wait til you’re home to get in, if food is for the taking or if they need to ask first, if the house is smoking or not, etc. Some of this you will have covered in your CouchSurfing profile or in your email exchanges with the surfers, but it never hurts to go over it all again.

Enjoying French cuisine in a Chicago restaurant with Brazilian couchsurfers

4) Start with a meal. Nothing brings people together like a shared meal, so no matter what time of day your surfers arrive, suggest some type of food. I often meet my surfers after work, so we have dinner and get to know each other over that. Be sure to present several options, but only a few or they’ll be overwhelmed; always have a vegetarian-friendly place on hand in case they’re non-carnivorous; and keep in mind where they’re from so you can introduce them to a type of food that might be unfamiliar to them (eg, I always suggest Mexican food for European surfers). If you’ve just had a payday or the meal was cheap enough, consider buying their meal and watch yourself rocket to the top of their list of favorite hosts. If I have surfers for a few nights in a row, I usually suggest we cook something at home on the second night, when we might have more time to pick out ingredients and put something together, but of course you can do that your first night if it works for you.

This is from the UK's NHS site, encouraging people to talk about sex. I recommend waiting til you know them a bit better before bringing this up with your surfers.

5) Keep the conversation going. Ideally, you’ve had a few message exchanges with your surfers so you know a little bit about one another, and you can use that as a springboard into more conversation. You always have your mutual love of travel to fall back on, and of course, since they’re currently traveling, you can ask them for stories about their adventures. But don’t forget to be just as willing to talk about yourself and your city; you don’t want your surfers to feel like they’re getting quizzed by you. When you do ask questions, mix up the “cultural exchange” questions with the types of questions you’d ask anyone you met at a party, such as the latest movie they saw or your new favorite book. CouchSurfing is a wonderful opportunity to exchange ideas and observations about different parts of the world, but you’re doing that by interacting with people, so don’t forget that part of the equation or you’ll run the risk of using your surfers as your own personal information booth instead of people with their own interests, idiosyncrasies, and opinions.

And that’s it! Of course, if they’re staying for more than one night, and if you don’t have to work for one of the days, your opportunities for getting to know them and showing them your favorite parts of your town are wide open. In the past, I’ve taken my couch surfers to a concert at Schubas, the Didier Farms pumpkin patch, and the Chicago Latin Music Festival in Grant Park, to name a few. I’m still in touch with several of my surfers, and I have plans to stay with them on my trip in a couple of years. So if you have the time, definitely spend more time with your surfers.

But even if you’re on a tight schedule, follow the five steps above and I guarantee you’ll get a glowing review on the CouchSurfing site and a warm, fuzzy feeling in the general area of your heart when you wave your surfers goodbye.

Top 5 Ways to Be a Great Couchsurfing Host