I love fruit. I do not love vegetables. Their texture is all wrong, it’s difficult to cook them just right so they’re not too hard or too limpid, and they taste far too much like earth and not nearly enough like something delicious. But being a grown woman of 28, I am aware that I need to eat more vegetables. I’m training myself to eat broccoli since it’s basically the best vegetable for you. How do I do this?
Mix the vegetables I do like in with broccoli, and stick them all next to mashed potatoes. Conceal and deceive!
rewards and punishments
For the record: it was not a fully successful experiment. Broccoli is still a tiny tree trying to sprout in my mouth. Perhaps repeated attempts will yield better results.
If not, there’s always the mashed potatoes.
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Cheese is the classic broccoli-sneaking technique, though I don’t remember ever actually enjoying broccoli and cheese when I didn’t like broccoli. I just wanted to eat the cheese off the top. Now that I do like it, I’ve been enjoying it chopped into smaller pieces, cooked, and then tossed with olive oil, salt, pepper, and a dash of lemon juice. Or you could try broccoli on pizza? Once again, chopping it into smaller pieces, so it doesn’t feel like a tree in your mouth.
(Personally, I think the vegetables that taste like dirt are mushrooms and beets. I have a hard time with both.)
Ah yes, the cheesy layer of deception! We had cauliflower & cheese as kids, sometimes served with broccoli. This just became multiple trees in my mouth.
Probably chopping it up smaller is the way to go, but I still really dislike the taste.
Other vegetables I don’t like: Beets, lima beans, brussels sprouts, many kinds of leafy greens, cabbage, radishes, parsnips
Vegetables I do like: green beans, carrots, peas, carrots, bell peppers
Fruits I don’t like: None. They are all delicious!
I think Keegan and I need to have you over for a vegetable-filled dinner sometime. We’ll be in touch.
If anyone can make them palatable, it’s you two.
Dude, no need for broccoli, just eat more green beans, carrots, peas, carrots, and bell peppers!
Also, cream of broccoli soup, if you must. Add butter, salt, and fatty milk, puree and enjoy cold (or hot, but really who wants hot soup in the summer?).
I’m fairly certain butter, salt, and fatty milk would make just about anything palatable. Good call.
I like making a fake pesto sauce with broccoli. Saute some garlic and red pepper flakes in a generous amount of olive oil. Cook the broccoli until it’s quite soft, then drain and add it to the garlic/pepper mix. Mash the broccoli with a fork, mixing in the spices, then mix it all with pasta. Parmesan cheese on top.
That also sounds tasty. Wanna come to Chicago and cook it with me?
I eat broccolli. Not onions tho.
So that’s ONE up you have on me.
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